"13 Shocking Secrets You'll Wish You Never Knew About Lemony Snicket"

1. Lemony Snicket is not who you think he is.

2. Lemony Snicket is one of three siblings. (His other siblings are Kit Snicket and Jacques Snicket.)

3. Lemony Snicket's niece is an orphan. (Beatrice Baudelaire, daughter of Kit Snicket and Dewey Denouement, and adopted child of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire.)

4. Lemony Snicket is wanted for arson. (As, indeed, Count Olaf is. However, Count Olaf is guilty, whereas Mr. Snicket is innocent.)

5. Lemony Snicket grew up with a terrible villain. (Count Olaf, naturally, who was a neophyte of V.F.D. at the same time as Mr. Snicket and Beatrice, among others.)

6. Lemony Snicket attended boarding school. (One might think this meant Prufrock Preparatory School, which I suppose it might, if Prufrock had ever been inhabited by V.F.D. and been used to train neophytes.)

7. When he was a baby, Lemony Snicket was kidnapped by a secret organization. (V.F.D.)

8. Lemony Snicket was fired from The Daily Punctilio. (After his criticism of the actress Esme, performing a role that Beatrice was cast for originally. The editor-in-chief Eleanora Poe fired him.)

9. Lemony Snicket helped Beatrice commit a serious crime before her death. (I believe this was the crime involving poisoned darts, and the victims of this crime were the parents of Count Olaf. I believe Lemony Snicket and Beatrice, and possibly others, planned this murder, but their motive is less clear.)

10. Lemony Snicket was disguised as a bullfighter when he was captured. (He was at the ball of the Duchess of Winnipeg, and he was about to give Beatrice a message, when the palace guards, disguised as scorpions, caught him.)

11. Lemony Snicket's work is filled with secret messages meant for his associates. (You can say that again!)

11. Lemony Snicket's work is filled with secret messages meant for his associates.

12. Lemony Snicket has a tattoo of an eye on his ankle. (As does Jacques Snicket, and Count Olaf, and anyone who was recruited by V.F.D. in the old days when they tattooed ankles of members. That custom backfired after the Schism.)

13. He is Finished. (Hopefully not meaning he himself is finished, but only that his books are completed. Which must be a relief, however frightening it may be.)


The World is Quiet Here.